10 Realizations from Yet Another Social Media Hiatus

That might help you on your journey, too

slow mornings sans screens

Last Tuesday night, on a sudden impulse, I deleted Instagram and Substack from my phone—no “logging off for a while” story, no predetermined agenda, just an overwhelming urge to disconnect.

While this wasn’t my first social media hiatus, and surely not my last, each time new truths reveal themself in the process. I guess that’s kind of the point, right? To quiet the outer noise to make space for our own thoughts and intuitions to freely flow in. Writing the word ‘freely’ reminds me of the intention behind this detox: to liberate myself from overconsumption and the relentless cycle of comparing my life and work to others’. Freedom from the weight of vanity metrics and wondering why work isn’t resonating or “preforming well.”

My relationship with social media is one I’ve long reflected on (you can read about it here and here if you’d like). But even after months of small experiments and sporadic breaks, I still find it… complicated. And maybe it always will be. Just when we think we’ve found a rhythm, something new comes along to shake that confidence, like when our kids enter a new phase just as we finally feel we’ve mastered the last one.

I initially made a pact with myself to step away from the apps until the following Monday, planning to start the week fresh after a much-needed break. I did check in on my desktop a couple of times to reply to direct messages and comments, but otherwise, I was fully enjoying the disconnection. When Monday arrived, I realized I wasn’t quite ready to fold the apps back into my daily routine—there still felt like more space to be had before I’d feel comfortable making a comeback.

I’ve wrestled with how I want to show up online, in what way, and how often. I’ve tried (and failed) to set boundaries that protect my creativity and well-being. And as I write this today, I’m still unsure of the answers to these questions I’ve long debated. However, I remain hopeful for a path forward of creating online in a way that truly feels good and helps support my goals along the way. With each hiatus I take, I inch closer to making social media work for me, not against me.

Now it’s Thursday. Both apps have found a place again on my phone screen, but not without newfound constraints. I look forward to exploring a refreshed relationship with social, after yet another hiatus with many lessons learned:

THE WAY I’VE USED SOCIAL MEDIA ISN’T HEALTHY

Let’s start with a somewhat obvious realization: my social habits aren’t healthy. It’s one thing to passively acknowledge unhealthy habits while continuing to indulge in them, and quite another to consciously come to terms with them. During the first couple of days of my hiatus, I caught myself reaching for blank spaces on my screen, searching for apps that were no longer there.

I noticed the small pockets of time when I instinctively picked up my phone without a second thought, navigating to social media to fill any trace of boredom or discomfort. Whether waiting for the bus or craving a brief mental escape, I found myself reaching for that constant consumption. It was, quite honestly, a bit disturbing—a wake-up call to how I, and many of us, use our phones as a form of unregulated escapism.

STRONGER INTERNAL SIGNAL REQUIRES LESS EXTERNAL NOISE

Lately I’ve felt a sensitivity to just how much content I consume. I mean we’re all constantly bombarded with messages of all sorts, from the latest news updates to persistent advertisements. Even the content we intentionally seek out, such as valuable Substack posts or podcast episodes, there is a fine line between well-meaning knowledge seeking and information overload that clouds our creative flow.

The breaking point that led me to this hiatus was the buildup of every message I’d absorbed over the days, weeks and months leading up to that. I could feel the weight of the outside world—a sea of other people’s work and perspectives swirling in my mind until it left me dizzy. And while a week away from socials hasn’t transformed me into some sort of intuitive creative mastermind, there is already a noticeable shift in the way I’m approaching my own work and creativity.

I STILL CONSUMED TOO MUCH CONTENT

All of this to say, Instagram and Substack aside, I was still consuming far too much content—magazine articles, podcast episodes, books, TV shows. This only confirmed a suspicion I’ve had for some time: social media isn’t the only place where we overconsume content; it’s simply the most convenient scapegoat. While I will always advocate for long-form content over quick dopamine hits, we can’t mask our bad habits behind the false veil of another.

We’re quick to vilify social media and often for good reason. The goal of big tech is literally to capture our attention and keep us engaged, then capitalize on our mental space with advertisements. Not great. However, we are still very much in control of how we interact with these platforms: a realization I think many of us have taken for granted. Point is: social media is only one format of content consumption and unregulated escapism—let’s not forget the others.

OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND

As I mentioned above, the first several days of this hiatus were accompanied by unconsciously reaching for the apps and pings of craving to just check in for a second. But by day 3 the small urges and nagging voices completely subsided. It was very much out of sight, out of mind, which I was pleasantly surprised by and have definitely enjoyed. I think we’re quick to dismiss just how easy we can curb some of our bad habits with small adjustments, especially when it comes to social media when even a moment of resistance can prevent you from logging onto an app.

I GOT BORED AND LIVED MORE—PRESENTLY

I read more. I baked a cake. I watched a TV show. I played with our little ones without distractions. Even when my social apps are downloaded, I never turn on notifications, so while the literal dings don’t distract me, there’s still a mental pull knowing they’re always just a tap away.

And yes, I baked a cake—for the first time in quite a while. Baking has been a longtime passion of mine (so much so that I even had a very brief stint in pastry school), and now I’m looking forward to bringing this hobby back into my life on a weekly basis. (I just baked a batch of brownies as I’m editing this).

I PROCRASTINATED LESS

In those moments where writers block hit or I felt stumped as to what to check out the to-do list next, not having my phone be a source of entertainment and distraction kept me more focused. We all know those times when a quick check inevitably turned into something more, leaving us wondering what we were even doing in the first place.

INSPIRATION SHOULD (MAINLY) STEM FROM OUTSIDE THE SCREEN

My phone has been a main outlet I turn to for inspiration, from the visuals of Pinterest and Instagram, to the long-form essays and creative curations on Substack. My ideas are sparked from the outside world, and sometimes when I’m so desperate for a dose of inspiration, I relentlessly search my phone until something catches my attention.

I’ve often heard social media experts say that, when seeking inspiration for your own content, you should pay attention to what you’re naturally drawn to or what composes your “saves” folder. But the more I think about it, much of the content I love to consume isn’t content I could—or perhaps even should—create, because it’s simply not meant for me. So instead of looking to other people’s work online for direction and inspiration, why aren’t we turning more to the real life world? Or better yet, tuning into our inner one?

I’m lucky to call Paris home and similar to this experiment re-prioritizing some of my rituals like a weekly bake, I also plan to take advantage of the endless beauty, wonder and creativity that surrounds me. And regardless of where you call home, there’s endless inspiration to be found there, too.

I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE SOCIAL MEDIA

I’ll admit: I’ve been part of the “social media haters club” that many creatives have joined. Why should we commodify our creativity? Why create for free on platforms that ultimately profit from our work? I’ve told myself I shouldn’t have to be an influencer or grow a huge audience just to get paid for what I want to do. I’ve echoed these sentiments that criticize the very platforms so many of us rely on. And while I still believe there’s truth in all of it, I also can’t deny the reality of the world we live in, or the “game” we sometimes have to play to reach certain goals.

That said, not everyone needs to grow an online audience, build a following, or start a newsletter. For some, these platforms work just fine in the background, without needing to take center stage. But for certain kinds of goals, especially in creative work, building a presence and connecting with an audience can make a real difference, whether we want to admit it or not.

And speaking outside of leveraging platform for creative career growth, there is the connection piece that has undeniably played a beautiful role in my life. Some of my closest friendships have sprouted from Instagram and now Substack. I’ve heard the argument from people who preach for leaving social media that it will help you discover who you’re true friends are and foster those relationships deeper.

As a busy mom juggling daily responsibilities and navigating time zones, I often struggle to keep up with even my closest friends and family. It’s not that I don’t value these relationships; I simply have limited time for phone calls and often lack the mental bandwidth to check in as often as I’d like. Social media gives me a way to stay connected with people whose lives I care about—seeing their little moments, big milestones, and hard-earned wins.

When used intentionally, I believe this modern tool can nurture more than it harms.

BUT THERE’S STILL SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE

If we choose to be on these platforms and intentionally leverage them for connect and career growth, we need to be extremely conscious about the way we’re doing so. I’m sure we’re probably on the same page as to why we dislike (at least some aspects) of social media. It can undeniably be unhealthy and toxic, leading to insecurity, self-doubt, imposter syndrome and more serious emotional distress. But again, I’ll make this point: I believe we forget how much control we have in responsibly interacting with these apps.

If anything, social media has been a mirror to my own habits, internal beliefs, and boundaries.

Then the question becomes can I take responsibility for it?

I’ll end this post with a reflection for you: notice which aspects of social media don’t sit well with you. Is it how much you’re consuming? That you feel worse after seeing others’ work or lives? That you’re spending more time creating for the platform than you’d like?

Once you pinpoint what’s not working, experiment with small changes. Maybe that’s posting once a week and deleting the app in between, limiting how often you post, or curating your feed by unfollowing accounts that no longer inspire you or consistently trigger negative feelings.

I hope this post resonated with you in some way! If it did, let me know:)

Until next week,

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