Stop Waiting to do the Work You Desire

Take back control over your desires and decisions.

Last year, after three rounds of interviews, including a final conversation with the CEO of a brand I’ve admired for years, I was convinced this job opportunity was mine. It was a dream role in so many ways: I’d be able to design highly curated experiences, work with inspiring creatives, have opportunities for growth and contribution to other parts of the business/brand and even have travel occasionally compensated. Oh, and get paid a stable salary too! Sounds like a dream, doesn’t it?

Well, without going into too much detail, let’s just say the position didn’t materialize. I immediately went into a downward spiral: There goes my chance of designing these unique experiences! With inspiring people! Traveling to amazing places!

Disappointed, I went back to the drawing board on what I wanted my next career move to be. The first thing I did was attempt to turn the frustration into a source of inspiration, asking myself what excited me most about this position. I came up with a list of all of the aspects of the role that energized me. If this position wasn’t meant to be, I was determined to take the best parts of it and find it (or create it) elsewhere.

Like many of us, I have big dreams and visions for my career, most of which I keep concealed in fear that if I voice them out loud, I might embarrass of “jinx” myself (which, I’m aware, is very unrealistic and unhelpful.) Sometimes…oftentimes…I think about these dreams that seem so distant as if they could only ever exist in the confines of my head. As if I’m waiting, always waiting, on external permission, circumstances or validation to arrive in order for me to make even the smallest step forward.

Numerous times over the course of my career, I’ve felt stuck and unfulfilled in the work I was doing; feeling the immense gap between where I was and where I wished to go. But the truth is, it is fully within our control to begin incorporating more of our purpose and passions into our careers, at any point…even right now.

After the unrealized job opportunity, I took the list I created and turned it into action. I realized I didn’t need to be hired by a company to begin to do this work I was passionate about. So I created some similar service offerings based on the position and the aspects of the job I was deeply excited by.

Breaking my big goals into “micro projects” has been another method I’ve used to get closer to visions I hold. For example, I love the editorial and print world, and while the idea of having a beautifully curated print product sounded amazing, it wasn’t a realistic place to start.

So a year or so ago, I created a multi-sensory zine project as a passion project. I sold a limited quantity of them, and it was not only a great way to express my creativity, and a step in the direction of the dream I had, but also a fantastic way to experiment. You may find that you don’t really enjoy it as much you thought you would.

Every step is evidence.

Even now, I find myself continuing to look for external permission and validation to pursue projects I dream of. Which is part of the reason I’m writing this post: as a necessary reminder to myself, because I too need to hear this.

As I am planning on building a hospitality brand over the course of the year, and purchasing a property here in Paris, I continuously find myself asking my partner for his input and, in a way, his permission (even though I really don’t need it.) Yes, it is a big financial decision and investment, but this is a decision I’m fully in control of.

Which brings me to the question: why are we constantly looking outside of ourselves for permission? Always waiting for the perfect circumstances to present themselves?

My best guess (at least for me personally) would be fear. Fear that we’re not capable of doing it alone. That we need someone else to believe in us before we believe in ourselves. That we’re not worthy or deserving unless someone else says so.

So, where to begin?

• Stop waiting to be chosen. Instead of waiting to be hired by the ideal employer/client, or waiting for the perfect conditions, if an opportunity doesn’t exist, create it for yourself.

• Identify what excites you. Think about the work, projects, or ideas that make you feel energized and inspired. Write them down and think about how to incorporate more of these aspects into your current career, or into another project.

• Break big dreams into micro projects. Start brainstorming small projects you can pursue that will embody elements of the big vision you hold. (i.e. my zine project.)

• Use every step as evidence. Each action you take builds momentum and reinforces that you are capable. Not only does each step create confidence, but it also provides clarity on what you truly do (and don’t) enjoy doing.

I’ll leave this post here with a simple statement that I hope brings us both some motivation: Stop waiting for permission to do the work you truly desire and are fully capable of doing. Trust yourself, because no one else carries the validation we’re looking for. And until we start embodying these big visions we hold, we will always be left waiting for them, instead of claiming them as our own.

Until next week,

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Have a new project, brand, or business idea and need help shaping it into something real? Feel stuck or overwhelmed and want a clear roadmap to take the next steps? Book a Roadmap Session designed to help you gain clarity, define your direction, and map out the next steps for your project. I’d love to work with you to turn your big ideas into reality!

I will also be (co) hosting two creative retreats in Paris this fall, both with very limited spots in order to keep the group an ideal size for open conversation, discovery and co-creation. Please join the waitlist to be the first to know more details!