BRB, Spring Cleaning My Life!
The birthday post I didn't plan to write
Today is my 29th birthday. I originally planned to share some in-depth reflection on entering my last year of my twenties: a decade that most definitely didn’t go “according to plan” and has most notably been dedicated to motherhood. I wanted to touch on youth, career, lessons learned. You know…the typical birthday post.
But to be totally honest, I’ve been struggling these past few months, and these past few weeks more specifically. Two horrendous stomach bugs in the span of four weeks, one of which took out the entire household, while simultaneously dealing with our daughter bringing home her first case of lice that plagued us all for weeks. On top of that, selling our home in Austin has brought up an unforeseen wave of emotion. I haven’t been back home in two years now, the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing my family, who I am extremely close to, and it’s led me to confront the hard realities of establishing our lives here. A reminder that a better life abroad is not without its challenges.
I won’t harp on all of it here, or the other personal experiences unfolding behind the scenes, but I wanted to share that the onslaught of everything has forced me to take a full step back. To take a true pause and focus on what actually needs my attention right now: my mental and physical health. As much as I’ve wanted to “trudge through” and “stay consistent” with my creative work, like showing up weekly here on Substack, the truth is that no truly aligned or inspiring work is going to come from a place of depletion.
The good news is I’m starting to feel the energy shift. But I’m also well aware that this shift won’t come fully into focus on its own and it’s going to take real work on my end, too.
There’s a considerable amount of things I’d like to “spring clean” in my life right now, such as:
Prioritizing my physical and mental health: Exercising (beyond solely walking), getting bloodwork done, scheduling necessary appointments, taking my diet more seriously, integrating more gratitude into my journaling practice, etc.
Establishing home: Selling our home in Austin, shipping our belongings, decluttering and furnishing our apartment, and finally beginning to feel rooted here. Feeling more “at home” also means dedicating myself to becoming fluent in French.
Closing the loops: For awhile now, I’ve had too many “open loops,” those unfinished tasks I keep putting off that quietly drain my energy in the background, like finalizing our taxes (for both France and the U.S.), picking up my titre de séjour from the préfecture, and so on.
Financial & Future Planning: Continuing on the journey to creating a sustainable life here in Paris.
(some) Career clarity: I'm not ready to fully dive into this yet, but I've been coming to terms with what I genuinely want to do, something I've been repressing and making excuses about for too long. I'm sure I'll share more on this as it develops. A process, for sure :)
But instead of seeing these lifestyle edits and tasks as a burden, I’m choosing to see them as possibility. Slowly closing the loops and establishing better habits that will bring me closer to the way I want to feel and move through the world.
I’ve been sitting with the idea that we have the power to choose our thoughts and beliefs; to edit our preconceived notions of who we are.
For years, I’ve categorized myself as “out of shape,” and you won’t catch me in the gym or going for a run. But guess what? This weekend I’m going to buy a pair of running shoes. Because I live a five-minute walk from the Seine and why can’t I be a runner?!
A necessary reminder that our identities are malleable. One I’ve really needed lately, and maybe you do, too.
This isn’t the birthday post I planned to write. I’ve had two letters drafted and a whole month’s worth of newsletters lined up. But I’m going to take some time to prioritize my wellbeing and hopefully come back more energized. This could be a week or it could be a month, who knows! I’m letting go of my weekly posting schedule for a while and seeing what comes.
More than anything, I hope this year I can lean into the magic within myself and the world around me. Lean into gratitude and stay open to the beauty in the unfolding of it all.
While you’re here, I’d love to hear some of things you’re hoping to “spring clean” this season.
As always, thank you for reading.
Xx,
Happy birthday, Maddie. Some years are for shedding and others are for building. Each and every one has its place 🫶
Taking care of yourself is so important! You are making the right choice to focus on that.
Regarding running, I started running two years ago at the age of 29, without ever having run a mile before. And then in April of 2025, I ran the Paris marathon! It is SO rewarding. My biggest piece of advice is do not worry about pace at all when starting out. I'm talking like a 15min/mile pace is totally fine (it will feel barely faster than walking) but it is so important to not overdo it in the beginning because you will feel miserable and dejected if you try to go too fast. Consistency is way more important than speed and you will naturally get faster. My mental health now compared to before I started running is leaps and bounds better. It's truly amazing.
I wish you all the best!